I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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