i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize