No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
