Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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