i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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