I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
