i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize