K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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