Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
