he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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