right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
