So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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