Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
