All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
