There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
