MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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