I accidentally had phone sex last night
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize