You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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