but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
