this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
