I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
