Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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