What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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