Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize