I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
