That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
