life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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