I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
