my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
