Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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