is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
