I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
