she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
