we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
