There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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