just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
