dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
