me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Someone came in the potted fern
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize