Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
