Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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