Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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