I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
