I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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