gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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