I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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