I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
