i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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