I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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