So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
