he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
