She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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