Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
