Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
