He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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