Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
