dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Randomize
