Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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