Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Actions speak louder than pants.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
