can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
