so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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