we're blogging at a bar
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
