There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I don't deserve a penis
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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