you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
