: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize