Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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