she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
