he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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