What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
