We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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