I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Randomize
