How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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