Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
