Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
