Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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