ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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