So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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