TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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