when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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