HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
