is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
