Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
