She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize