is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
