and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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