So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
