Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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