from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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