At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
FUCK WHALES
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
