You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
