does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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