that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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