So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
