if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
