I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize