i permit you to call me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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